Who is on Our Side? Not Them!

It seems that lately my time and my brain are used up by the time I get home. I have not written since I left my son and his family before went to Afghanistan. Where do I find myself this time? Well once again I am thousands of feet above the surface of the earth. Before the flight to Austin Texas it had been 14 years since I boarded a plane. What are the odds that I would be back on one so soon? I thought I would drive to Vegas today, but I am tired and I could not see myself looking at my windshield for 6 hours going through places like Kingman, Arizona. The bright side of this is that I get to relax for a few minutes before my life gets crazy again when my feet hit the desert floor in Las Vegas. My brain is somewhat spared tonight before I sit down I build a presentation for tomorrow so I can share a few of my feelings.
During the last few weeks it seems as a whole new world is opening up to the inhabitants of the United States of America. The past number of months has left me scratching my head wondering: where is the land that brought prosperity to the world? Where are the responsible leaders that managed this free people by letting us fail or succeed by the actions that we take as we plotted our course in the frail existence? I have intently watch the world during this time frame and I think the past few weeks have proven to be the slipperiest slope I have witnessed in my short 28 years of adulthood. For the first time I find myself scared of the world that my children are living in. I look at the leadership of our country and I see devils that are selling peace and prosperity but the bait and switch is war and confusion for the children of God, not only on this land, but all the lands of this earth that was created for us.
We have watched the politicians, at a distance, as they changed this country slowly for the past 60 years, now a lot of Americans are watching them more closely as they divert our course to freedom at a quickened pace. As people begin to call our leaders on these plans to change our world those that run interference for them are calling us racist. That is the game plan; attack the messenger not the message. So as I challenge our president on his policies, I guess this White, Middle-aged LDS guy is referred to as prejudiced towards people of the same race as President Obama. So I will focus my disgust to the policies of our leadership towards Harry Reid. Heaven knows I cannot focus on Nancy Pelosi because I could be accused of being prejudiced against arrogant power hungry asses from San Francisco.
You see, Mr. Reid is LDS, white, and a little older than middle-aged. Mr. Reid is troubling to me as he pushes this country down the slippery slope. In my opinion he has turned his back on the freedom that we fought for in our pre-earthly state. We fought against Lucifer as he slowly plotted a course of destruction for God’s children. Mr. Reid fought by our sides as we chose to live as free and independent beings to choose for our own individual decisions to return to our Father-in-Heaven. Somewhere along the way Harry decided to change sides and force the children of God, who were born in freedom, to live under laws that would lead to the destruction of our liberties. Mr. Reid, we lost one-third of our spiritual brothers and sisters in that Great War. Now, you have chosen to take on their spiritual lose on your shoulders. You have chosen to risk the blood of generational soldiers that have and continue to shed blood in the defense of the freedom of Americans and the freedom of those that live outside the boundaries of this great union of free and independent states. I wish you no harm; I only wish that you would join the ranks of those you fought with in the pre-existence. Put down your mighty pen that approves these proposals that will only lead our union to oppression under a tyrannical government.

A Bird's Eye View

Today I am writing from one of the most uncomfortable places that I can think of, about 35,000 feet above the surface of the Earth somewhere between Austin, Texas and Denver, Colorado. Flying is not an activity that I seek to experience, I do not have wings. Every bounce of the aircraft and every tilt of the wings brings a feeling of, crap, are we OK? I spent the weekend away from my wife for the first time in a long time. This has been a weekend in which I have had so many swings of emotion that I cannot put my finger on the feelings I am leaving here in Texas and those that I am bringing back with me to Arizona.
I met my little Granddaughter, Lavinnia, she is such a precious child. Holding her was, sort of, different. She is so sweet, but I did not have to change one poopy or wet diaper, I let Austin and Erin do that. I review my life and think of how blessed I am. Many people never get the chance to feel these emotions. I left that little family with a tear in one eye and a twinkle in the other. One leg was dragging behind while the other leg pulled me towards the ticket counter. The tears fell because I had to leave them in Texas while not knowing when I will see them again and for other reasons I will write about later. The twinkle, because they are doing OK, they have a home, job, and most importantly air conditioning. The leg drug because I wanted another moment to look at that new family and ponder what challenges and blessings awaits them on their course in this life. The other leg was looking forward to seeing and holding those that are at home waiting for me to be a husband and a father. Life is not about having it all, it is about, I do not know, but I am finding joy in figuring it out.
Joy is not fleeting. However, its ingredients have a not so funny way of dragging you through unhappy times and then through wonderful moments. This week was a mixture of all the ingredients plus the others that make it a complete recipe.
As I ponder that statement my mind looks back at my oldest son, I cannot stop thinking about the man he has become. How can I find joy in the fact that he is going into harm’s way? There is absolutely no happiness in that thought, but the pride and joy is immeasurable. He is a soldier in the US Army. I am a veteran of the US Air Force. Today, my blood runs Army green. Today, my heart is bursting with pride, as I write; I am a father of a soldier that defends the right for me to live in freedom. He is willing to leave behind those that he loves, for more than a year, and is willing to have his blood stain the ground, in a country so far away from the borders of his home. What kind of man does that? My son is one of the men and women that choose to put on that uniform with the colors of red, white and blue on its sleeve. A country that stands for freedom and that is why they go.
So is there any question of why the tears flowed from the eye of sadness? There should be no doubt as to why the twinkle in my eye is shining with the pride of a father that sees a boy become a man in a drastic way. Body armor sits on his floor as he awaits his call to duty in just a couple of weeks. His dear wife and sweet little baby sit with the anticipation of him having to don the battle uniform. Why do they do it? It is for freedom! It is for me! It is for the cause of freedom and for the prior warriors that paved the way to building this Nation. God Bless you, Austin, Erin and Lavinnia, and God Bless the USA.
Mr. and Mrs. Politician please do not let the potential blood of my son stain you as you pull away from what makes this country great. Before you vote for one more bill that puts my children and grandchild in further debt, before you take one more step to government control over more aspects of our lives, think about the sacrifice you are making my and many other families face. My opinion is that the blood that stains the ground in fights for freedom will stain your eternal life if you continue this push from the ideals of this free nation.

What Can I Give My Dad?

Father’s Day causes me to reflect on my life as a father. The things I have done wrong seem so numerous that they cannot be counted while the right things are hidden from my mind. Not too long ago my Mom’s mother passed away and I had the opportunity to speak at her funeral. My parents have been divorced for years, but my Dad was there to pay his respects to this tough woman. The night after the funeral I called my Father and thanked him for giving me direction in my life. His reply? “Well if I have done something right, in raising you kids, I will accept it, but I know I have done more wrong than right.” So what can I give my Dad for Father’s Day, There is nothing that could possibly tell him the way I feel about him, so I will write about him and let others know of the man I call Dad.

I do not remember calling him daddy, nope, just Dad. The years are lost to my mind of the daddy I had. I do, however remember a trip to California, going to see my grandparent’s. I sat between him and my mom in the front seat; probably because I was pestering Brad and Debbie and they were going to sacrifice me to the Highway gods. I would say, “every time the wheel turns we get closer to Nana and Papa’s house.” I am sure he wanted to stick a sock in my mouth to shut me up, but he just said “yep.” My dad taught me many lessons and I appreciate him. I wrote a short poem, (for lack of a better word, I am not a poet.) My mind may have lost its memory of my daddy by it has a firm grasp on the Dad I have. Here is your Father’s Day gift. Remember, you get what you pay for!

“The Wheels in Life”

“Every time the wheel turns around we are getting closer, huh, Dad,” That is what I said as we traveled on long trips when I was but a child. Your reply, “yep.” Wheels turn throughout our lives and each turn brings us closer to our destination. My Dad, through his wisdom, would help me steer my load. Through disappointment and sometimes despair I looked to you and said, “Dad, will I reach my destination?” Through my mind I heard you say, “yep, every time the wheel turns you get closer.” When I get impatient I can imagine you saying, “Son, you need to stop and look around before you lose your inclination, of right and wrong, then your wheel will move along in the wrong direction.” The path of sin is the same, every time the wheel turns around, you move further from your appointed destination. Though you were lost from my view; you could not tarry with a son that insisted on losing his ambition, my path was dark, my view clouded over, as I lost my inspiration. The wheels moved on to paths so long in dirty dusty places, life does not care, if you are lost or found you will reach a destination. The storm clouds lifted, I looked to you, for simple profound directions. You said, "turn around, the wheel will lead to the right destination." Every time the wheel turns around you get closer, son. I looked to you and prayed that you could lead me to salvation. It is then I learned that God gave his son and I must look to him to bring me back to my heavenly home. But while I am here God gave me you; to lead me, to guide me, to walk beside me and I am thankful my dad is you. The wheels turn on and each time we come closer to our destination.

I love you Dad!

Stop Signs

Spirituality can be moments fleeting within periods of confusion and times sandwiched by struggles and concerns. Today I read the recollection of Alma the Younger as he recited his experiences as he and the Son’s of Mosiah set out to cause disruption among the followers of Christ. As they were on their journey an angel appeared to them and told Alma, paraphrasing, if you want to destroy yourself, go ahead. However, it is time to stop destroying others. If you want to be judged with your works that is fine, but stop the destruction of the children of God. Then Alma speaks of the feeling of the judgments’ of God and the loss of eternal life, or eternal life knowing that he could have been more. He could have been a builder of people instead of a destroyer of souls. Then he thought of the teachings of his father, that there would be a Christ and he would bring healing. Let me tell you, again, my words, the pain I felt was so tremendous that I could not move, but when I thought of Christ the Joy I felt was immeasurable. Faith, in Christ is built as we turn our life into a building mode and stop the destruction. The joy of the knowledge of Christ and that there is hope, is a moment that is not fleeting. It turns an ordinary life into one of great potential.

Stop Thief!

Time is a thief. It steals the things that are most close to you. One day you may find yourself praying for just a few quiet moments. The quiet that only a parent knows, it is the peace after your kids run off to school or the tranquil moments after the last child is tucked in for the night. Just prior to the sound of quiet the house was filled with the sounds of rushing, reminders, and sure to be miscommunications. Sounds of disappointment, sounds of victory, sounds of joy, and sounds of utter despair fill our homes as we raise these tiny people that come into to our lives and introduce all sorts of unexpected circumstances. The sounds of books being read and stories being told, instructions for the coming day and reminders for prayers to be said the sounds that have to stop before the beds are filled with his or her bodies. As silence encroaches you cannot help but check on them numerous times before you can sleep. Oh, that time is priceless. Now that the thief has been satisfied and the little one are growing and some gone the quite does not sound so good. The quiet times are now interrupted with brief moments of a child checking in or coming home for a few hours. We stay up late worried if they are doing OK. We would welcome the sounds of rushing that seemed so burdensome just a while ago. Where does the time go? Can I even remember the events that made my life what it is now? I miss the nonsense laughter the silly giggling and the requests for just one more story. Now, I pray for just one more story, but this too must pass. I love my older children that have taught me so much. I love my little ones that think that I am a good guy. I am that guy that they do not see when they wake up, nor do they see me when they come home for the day. They see me after I am used up for a day and preparing for another. I am the guy that gets lost in my thoughts and I forget to enjoy this moment. I wish I could press rewind and change that prayer. Please help me to cherish the loudness of my home and when the quiet moments come enjoy it. Please help me plan for the future but live in the moment. Please help me to remember this time and cherish the little ones, before you know it they are gone. I love all of you kids!

Covering the Stains

As I take on one more sleepless night, I ponder about the lives of our military men and women that have been cut short by enemies of our nation. Looking at the results of the conflicts that have been fought on our or foreign soil one has to ponder of the worth of souls. What is the value of life? To our politicians is IT just one more number? To his or her Mom, child, Dad, spouse, was IT just a number? I think not. Why, war? Why, bloodshed? Why not peace? Why not understanding? Why carnage? Why the loss of limbs? Why not love? Why not life? Wow, that would be great in a perfect world. Why or why not? Because there is always someone being unjust in the world, there will always be terrorist, there will always be the ACLU trying to protect them. Thank God for solders, Airmen, Seamen, and Marines that have been there to stand up for those of us that choose to live within the walls of freedom. Thank you for your life!! The worth of souls is great, thanks for the price you paid. No, the price we paid for your blood that was spilt, the cost to us is great. I hope our politicians will reflect on your life before making one more plea to change the course of our nation. The blood that once stained the ground to protect our values may be the blood that stains our nation’s soul as we turn our backs on the principles that guided this nation to its stature in the world. We stand for freedom, we stand for principles, we stand for what is right. You died as you voiced our standards.

Here's to Ya Kid

Nothing to really write about on a political subject tonight, with everything that is coming down around us I know I could, but tonight is a reflective night. My third daughter had her baccalaureate and Seminary Graduation tonight and it turned me inward. How can I be so old? There was a slide show of the kids showing pictures from early childhood until his or her senior picture. Well, I must say my eyes started sweating when I saw my little girl’s picture. Where does the time go? This is a hard night, I cannot sleep. Let me tell you about this kid, kid?, young lady. She was broken at age four and now she is a shining star. Was it me that made her change? No. It was people that came into her life. It was people that came and rescued her from a life of nothingness to a life of promise. It was my wife for taking time and talking to her and learning about her and making her feel like a person of worth. It was people making her reach within herself and learning to sing in front of people. It was my wife teaching her respect and teaching her to be her best self and not accepting her limitations. It was teachers taking the time with her to build her self confidence. It was the saving grace of our Savior, Jesus Christ that reached out to heal her. It was the Spirit that comforted her in the terrible times of her life. It was not me! I made some decision that helped her, but it was other people that were the biggest influences on her. No matter what, I thank my good wife for teaching this child the meaning of being a good woman that would stay with her through thick and thin. No, she did not give birth to her, but she is her Mom. She is a savior to me and to these kids. They may not want to read that but it is true. I cannot express my gratitude enough. Because of her, she has a roof over her head, because of her, she had doctor’s appointments, because of her she has straight beautiful teeth, because of her she had birthday cakes, because of her she has traditions, because of her she has someone to call Mom, because of her she has a place to call home, because of her, she has a little brother and sister that adore her, because of her she has a future. Here is to my daughter and to my wife. Through it all, through the pain and uncertainty, I love them both. I love all my kids, but tonight kid, it is your night.